I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
