on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
