Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
