you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
