How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
