What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
