the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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