Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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