Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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