the condom got lost in my hair
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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