See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
