We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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