Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
