My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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