i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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