I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
