Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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