i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
