Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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