apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
