Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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