terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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