Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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