so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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