I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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