he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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