It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
