im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
