last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
