No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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