did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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