i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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