i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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