so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
