I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
