Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
