Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
