I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i used baking grease as lip gloss
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
