are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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