would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
