u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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