Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
