it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
