Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
