WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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