I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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