she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
