Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
