C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
