I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
