She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize