Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
cat food counts as protein by the way
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
