Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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