My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
