Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
