I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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