covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
