just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
