East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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