I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
pray to the hookup gods
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
