Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
